WHAT MAKES ONE PERSON 'BETTER' THAN ANOTHER?
by
Andrew Bard Schmookler

The idea that one person is "better" than another seems to be a pretty big one. Just imagine how different the world would be --for better or for worse-- if everyone treated everyone else as if they were equally good and valuable beings! I'd like to take a closer look at the judgments we make about some people being better than others. In a moment, I'll raise some questions about what it means that we humans tend to invest so much energy into making such judgments, and whether and when it is appropriate and when not to make them.

But let me invite you first to think about your own experience. Think about the times that you feel better than someone else. What's it about, how does it feel? Think about the times you're in the presence of people you think are better than you? What do you do in your mind with that judgment? Consider also times when you are with people who convey that they think themselves better than you, or with people who seem to think that they are inferior. What does that feel like?

Then there is the question-- what are the criteria by which you, or others you know well, seem to make these judgments? In my experience, people find all kinds of bases to judge themselves superior, or inferior: who's got the better education, or takes better care of their family, or is smarter, or better looking, or lives in the better neighborhood, or attends the right church, or holds the right political views, or lives a more upright life, or wears better clothes, or is a member of a better race, or makes more money? What criteria do you use in your own judgments? Where did they come from?

For a long time, I've had serious questions about the usefulness and downright morality of thinking in those terms. Some judgments --like I'm better because I belong to the Country Club, or because my skin is white, or because I know how to use good English grammar-- I can reject easily as silly or even pernicious.

But then there are other criteria about which I feel more uncertain --like am I better than someone who believes in doing things I think are evil? am I better than people who hold doggedly to false beliefs? am I worse than someone who I see able to do wonderful things in the world that I wish I could do but can't or just don't? Part of me is making such judgments all the time, while part of me is saying that I've got no business putting myself above or below other people at all. (According to that view, paradoxically, the person who can follow the injunction to "Judge not..." is a better person than I.) . And when I look at our investment in the question of superiority as wrong-headed, I wonder: where does all the energy come from that leads us into thinking that way (a question about which I'd appreciate your insights).

But then I wonder, how can a person who believes in the good stop making such judgments? After all, if I am a person who is trying to better himself --say by getting an education, or by disciplining my unruly impulses, or by being a good father and husband-- doesn't that mean necessarily that I think it is better to be that kind of person than to be the kind of person who is ignorant, or impulsive and self-indulgent, or negligent to his family? If a person succeeds after great effort in conquering his alcoholism, will he not feel that he is a better man for it? And if that is so, does it not follow that he will feel that he is a better man than another who is still a slave to his addiction?

So how do you think we are to deal with this challenge? Is one person better than another, and if so, by what criteria is that judgment to be made? And if not, how is that to be reconciled with our moral striving to better ourselves? What would wisdom look like in dealing with these issues?